Whenever I feel depressed, my old sexual demon returns, and that banishes my despair in mad displays of wild exhibitionism. It is the Weimar Berlin spirit. It is Josephine Baker on the stage in nothing but a girdle of bananas. It is Anita Berber the sex dancer losing herself in opium and gin. It is George Grosz and Otto Dix. I progressed from The Flying Scotsman to harder stuff and then back to The Flying Scotsman again. I am pushing the boundaries of what The Flying Scotsman can offer however. How much I would like to fuck J----. How much I would like to fuck K----. How much I would like to fuck L---. I like to be on the edge. I like my CALCULATED madness with -----, just pushing things as far as I wanted them to go---and then pulling back. So I had an effect on people & stirred things up. I like pushing things CALCULATEDLY with A---. I would like to see Clarisse in Brussels again. Tuesday is the anniversary of Lulu at the ENO and VIENNESE EROTICISM. Immerse myself in Berg, Webern and Schoenberg, the most sensually decadent music ever written. And, immersed in it, soaked in it like whisky, go back to The Flying Scotsman!
All I care about is my magazine, my Fackel. I have nothing else. I am a broken down man living in the ruins. ----- thought she wanted to get involved then changed her mind. What is important is to give style to one's character, and to turn one's mistakes into something that had to happen for the overall good, and one must not be without. The world's so quiet & silent at night.
No comments:
Post a Comment