I needed Pamela just to get me over —–, so that money was vital to spend. I am now in my official worst ever financial position—but I am not crying over —– anymore. I even really enjoyed watching ——–, and —-, and could really enjoy all the girls again. I even got a thank you from ——–, and as she was trying to collect from drunk man, she backed into me & I even got a sorry from her, and in fact she stayed with her back resting against my arm the whole time she was with him. Maybe she sees I am not the only one who gets drunk and I am not as bad as some.
I will leave Pamela for a while now, so my finances should recover a bit. It will just be twice a week at the Scotsman which shouldn’t be too bad. Maybe an occasional Sunset as well.
BERLIN IN APRIL FOR SALOME IS A MUST!!!!
So this is it—my first anniversary of moving into my own flat. What have I to show for it?
Very little. It is my nest, my hiding place, and that is important though.
I seem to have talked myself into going back to Brussels again, and Munich/Nuremberg, and Vienna, and Berlin in April!
I don’t want to go to bed at night because I feel so empty and depressed. So unfulfilled, another day gone by on which I did absolutely nothing. Remember how I felt at the end of the Pete Doherty Arena, I wanted to go out & get high & lose myself, I suppose I am just feeling down now. Who would I like to be with now? Pamela? Yes. —–? No. I will not look at — for a week.
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