I suspect when this period of abstinence is over, I will return to my sinful ways with more of a vengeance than ever before. Did Alla and Olga really offer me jacuzzi and bed for 250 euros? And I said no? I will go back to Demi and Pamela more than ever. Back to the Scotsman and Sunset Strip and Cinema more than ever.
My life got overheated. Overlush.
The Libertines. Hart Crane. Ernest Dowson. “There were no good old days. These are the good old days”. “And you know how I feel out of place, until I’m levered off my face, and I can work out what she’s all about”. Schoenberg’s Pierrot Lunaire and the Flying Scotsman absolutely go together. The terrible conflict between wanting to publicly declare my deep love for the Scotsman and my desire to keep it absolutely hidden and private, for myself. It provides some of those “high moments that persuade us to put off suicide”.
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