If I’m excited, and inspired by doing some good writing & thinking, I do like to go out & enjoy the Scotsman on a Saturday. That is the secret. I don’t just earn it by saving money, I earn it by doing some great writing—then I deserve it & feel I deserve it.
I am a great believer that you carry the weather with you. If you travel with a spark, a dancing flame inside you, you will have a great time. If you travel unhappy, and in a black place, weighed down by worries and debts, you will have a sad time. I cannot say the well in Munich has run dry; probably it is my well that has run dry. When my well fills up again, by making myself happier, ridding myself of obsessions, financial worries, anxieties, paranoid depressions, I will find Munich’s well is full to over-brimming again, "stars filling the throat to the crop", as it was absolutely full to over-brimming when I met Susi, Irina on the night of Turkey v England, Patricia, Emily on the Night of the Snow, Viktoriya in those four magical life-changing visits in the space of six months. I love loud pounding music. Muse Starlight. Even in the Scotsman standing looking up at the screen I loved hearing the loud pounding music from behind me, Pink Who Knew. The start of Miami Vice suddenly starts with loud pounding music in a club & a girl pole-dancing.
I am a great believer that you carry the weather with you. If you travel with a spark, a dancing flame inside you, you will have a great time. If you travel unhappy, and in a black place, weighed down by worries and debts, you will have a sad time. I cannot say the well in Munich has run dry; probably it is my well that has run dry. When my well fills up again, by making myself happier, ridding myself of obsessions, financial worries, anxieties, paranoid depressions, I will find Munich’s well is full to over-brimming again, "stars filling the throat to the crop", as it was absolutely full to over-brimming when I met Susi, Irina on the night of Turkey v England, Patricia, Emily on the Night of the Snow, Viktoriya in those four magical life-changing visits in the space of six months. I love loud pounding music. Muse Starlight. Even in the Scotsman standing looking up at the screen I loved hearing the loud pounding music from behind me, Pink Who Knew. The start of Miami Vice suddenly starts with loud pounding music in a club & a girl pole-dancing.
I love looking at stars in the black sky and colourful gassy nebulas, as it reminds me of the old E ships idea. Elric ships in space. Pope in his velvet lined spaceship. On the 91 to King’s Cross a brunette girl vaguely Canadian-looking came & instead of sitting on empty seats beside me, sat on the seat facing me, reading a book, so I could get get a look at the deep cleavage under brown jacket, beautiful globes visible & she knew I was looking. Then I knew I DID want Bell. Evanescence. You never call me when you’re sober. Jokeren Gravol. DAD Scare Yourself. Gnarls Barkley Smiley Faces. Oh I’ve just remembered those two Brazilians running for 87 yesterday, blonde & brunette. The brunette in white T and blue jeans over most incredible bubble butt bulging all over the place though she was really slim. Brazilians have got the best butts. Bloodhound Gang Uhn Tiss. Robbie Rudebox. Zero 7 Throw It All Away. Nellie Furtado Maneater.
I think after all it might be possible to achieve a balanced lifestyle for myself. Paying my rent, and allowing myself one night out a week, so I can still get to wallow in the Libertinesesque/Hogarthian/Rabelaisian/Rake’s Progress life, and still seriously paying off my cards so I can get to Berlin or Vienna a couple of times a year.
It is always hard to drink, go to cinema, then start drinking again. I was tired & run down yesterday & still quite enjoyed Zoe and Jane and Leah, how much better if I am sober and excited? The Francis Bacon Gilded Gutter Lily/Ernest Dowson/Frank Wedekind/Oscar Wilde Feasting With Panthers/Vincent Van Gogh Hour of the Flesh life. Kanye West Number One. Kelis Bossy. Junior Senior Get to Know you better. On my last few trips I have been hoping to get lucky and have a great time on just a very small budget with just a very small outlay & that is why I got so little back. You have to speculate to accumulate. I had so little starting capital to gamble with so I was only ever going to get little back. You have to gamble big if you are going to gamble at all. I should have gone with Alla & Olga and to hell with it. I should have gone with Clarisse & to hell with it. What memories that would have been! Justin Sexyback. Sugababes Red Dress. After all, the great thing about the Bell is that it can cost as little as £5. One pint and two girls and then push off. Cotton Club is a minimum £19 to start off with. How I always remember Masha dancing to Global DJs. That is why I travel. I will go back to Vienna, I will go back to Munich. I will owe £6000 or £7000. So what? For those memories. Habit encrusts itself to us, like barnacles. Every few years one finally makes the effort to scrape all the barnacles off, and uncover the shiny ship’s hull underneath, as if new. Such I have just done.
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