On way home same big breast girl got on Wandsworth Road (19th July 2006)

On way home, same big breast girl got on Wandsworth Road. Looked at her in profile, blue vest.Till she came towards me & sat in back corner, giving me a really good look at her big cleavage. Got an erection. She sat in corner half turned towards me, then made a big play of turning right towards me to untie her ipod.**************Had coke & two beers in the Calcutta. It was so hot in there, and so black. Joked with Hossain about it. After my coke, he said “oh that was just your starter?” Sexy big brunette in brown vest & skirt came in with boyfriend but left because too hot. Up to the Bell. Fantastic Arctic Monkeys Vampires song in the Calcutta followed by long extended throbbing intro to Madonna’s Hung Up. A depressing return to Sunset. Waited & waited for Melani to arrive downstairs & it was only after buying my second Fosters I saw her name was not on rota. Quite empty because it was so hot. Looked in cinema, Voyeur 18 but not much else. I’ll check it on internet if I go home tonight then can go back for it Friday if necessary. Low key day.  Two in Calcutta, two in the Scotsman, two in Sunset.

How many times I have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory (18th July 2006)

How many times I have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. How many more times have I just looked away when victory was sitting there waiting for me, like with Carol at Sunset. —– & —– at the Scotsman. —–. They all presented themselves to me on a plate. Bus stop girl. “Oh you’re so sweet, do you know that!” pigtail barmaid at the Calcutta.They all just offered themselves to me, while I was minding my own business. Ursula at the Calcutta. When opportunity arises, I go cold, like with Melani, and Lilith. I send them all away.***On way back from haircut, went in Calcutta for coke & three beers, following me in was brunette in little brown vest, quite big breasts, butterfly tattoo on back, as I sat in box seat she sat in front of me, kept looking at herself in mirror but really to see if I was noticing her.

What an empty night—the second in a row (1st June 2006)

What an empty night—the second in a row. Just one in a boring Calcutta, because Ariodante started at 7. In Handel they sing every phrase six times, with increasing amounts of vibrato, in contrast to the concision & brevity of The Makropulos Case. I couldn’t take any more of it. In the Lemon Tree the one who looks like the daughter but not the massive breasted white T-shirt girl. Had two halves & went back to Calcutta. Nothing doing there either, so I gave up. Then blow me as I was heading out the door, a gorgeous brunette in tight green top with big breasts comes in. I made such deep eye contact with her, that she eventually smiled & said thanks. I so much wanted to go back in to ogle her some more but resisted as I was so hungry. Once again I saw that blonde girl with her bicyclist boyfriend as I was leaving the flat. It is quite uncanny how often I see them. This time I looked deep into her gaze and held it until we said hello & smiled. Home tomorrow, then back for Duke Bluebeard? Where is the excitement? I am hungry for a girlfriend now.

And still the never ending rain continues (26th May 2006)

And still the never ending rain continues. All the greenery looks lovely in the wet, and it is muggy, despite the coldness of the rain. Massive breasts petite little South American blonde ponytail in sky blue sweater on bus, and asymmetric black hair goth with black sphinx eyes. Thoroughly depressed otherwise. Bleak and sombre. I feel like Hart Crane or Ernest Dowson, the morning after another disastrous foray into the broken world. A bad gamble. The £40 I spent on Demi and Pamela two weeks ago which I felt so happy about contrasts well against the horrible £40 I spent in the Old Axe on private dances with M—– and S——. A woman in the corner at Calcutta watching me as I came in, the same one who I looked up and found watching me before, the time I was sitting at the table & Ursula came up to collect glasses smiling. I did not see her go. The beer was warm!

I never connect with anyone (12th March 2006)

I never connect with anyone. I never want to become friends with anyone. I want to stay the stranger, alone & unknown. All the years I have been going to the Scotsman now, I do not know anyone there. I do not talk to anyone. Only one person has broken through my defences,and that was —–, and when she gave me my chance, I just let her leave without saying a word. She is nice to me still, but will never give me another chance. 

I should have been a week & a half, or even two & half weeks into my relationship with —– now. Instead here I am still shut outside the window, longing to be inside, but knowing it is too late. 

I am Stephane in Un Coeur en Hiver. I am Noodles. I am Will Penny. I am Edvard Munch. 

At this moment, I do not like anyone. I do not care about anyone or anything. I am bitter and nihilistic. “I have long passed the point at which one is seriously moved by hostile criticism of anybody in these questions or can feel any more than a tolerant contempt for the point of view from which it is uttered…God or the Flesh or the Devil—an artist may be in bondage to any one or other or all of these powers and retain his self-respect—but the world mustn’t, positively must not exist for him–or so much the worse for his art.” (Ernest Dowson, 1892). 

This is the anniversary of going to the dark opulent claustrophobic Berlin bedroom with Diana. Clarisse’s breasts in Brussels! Martina’s breasts in Nuremberg! Andrea’s breasts in Soho! I really so much want a girl with massive breasts again. Where can I find one? Travelling is out of the question for me. There is just the Berlin trip in May I am committed to, when I can see Erika in Ciro, and the sisters Alla & Olga. Maybe even Evalina in Golden Gate. It turns me on just thinking about it, but I will not be able to afford it in May any more than I can now. My financial situation is stuck in a downward spiral. It is getting worse not better. I would love to jump on Eurostar over to Brussels just to look for Clarisse in Empire, and check the Gare du Nord girls, but it is out of the question. Dowson frequently quoted Baudelaire, ‘Il faut etre toujours un peu ivre’. [It is necessary to be always a little drunk]. 

I so much want to search the clubs of Berlin again. I am aching for it. To meet a Diana, a Yulia, an Iga, a Riccarda, an Erika again. If all there is is Evalina and Maya, then I will fuck them instead. I still haven’t come with a girl since Maya in Berlin in October! 

I don’t want to be liked. I make no effort to be liked by anyone at the Scotsman or the Calcutta, the only two places I ever spend my time. Except —–. I am frozen. There is a wall around my heart. I was so depressed Saturday morning at work, and then woke up with such a black fist of pain around my heart, and then had —- and —– being nasty to me at the Scotsman. You carry the weather with you. I am fighting against the consequences of that Thursday night.

There seemed to be a party going on in the Sunset Cinema bar (20th Dec 2006)

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I love Pamela but cannot have her (15th Nov 2006)

I love Pamela but cannot have her. Another unrequited love in my life, after —–. At least with Pamela there is no madness, no great missed opportunity to torment me. There is just a sadness, when being with her is so lovely, she is so voluptuous and beautiful, it is so hard to come away. I will not see her again for a long time, I think. It is pointless, crazy, like it became with Lydia. And I am getting missed calls from her again, on the 9th, 10th, and 12th. 

I was running late so did not get to the Calcutta till 540, I took the box seat and found the Calcutta Belle & her man already sitting there. She was sitting facing me & it was hard to resist looking at her in the mirror. I left just after 6, after just one, as she was putting her coat on to leave as well. I got to the Scotsman just as —— was coming back to collect from some men she had missed first time but did not approach me, yet when she got on stage she was looking at me with little smiles. Sam, Crystal, Lucky. Alison, Cindy, Kelly, Cristina finishing at 7 same as Arleni. Holland v England was on which saved me some money.

—— served me first with a little smile. It did seem very busy in there; I wonder if people had been reading my recommendations! It was great to see Lucky & Alison again, but nothing else, and I left after 3. Felt so steaming mad, and bad-tempered on the bus, just from the despair and unhappiness of my life. Would have loved a Dionysus but resisted. Looked in Sunset Cinema but could not be bothered, just wanted to see Pamela. £47. Finally understood now it will always be no. Sadness. She is so good to hold, and talk to. Her dog is a terrier, called —. “He loves me”.

Not sure why I was quite so depressed after last night (9th November 2006)

Not sure why I was quite so depressed after last night. Felt rejected by —— covering her ears when I asked about private parties, and then by Pamela keep saying no to me, she is busy every day, then when I asked her if she had a boyfriend she announced she had a not-quite a boyfriend, a Frenchman, who she knew from when she first came to England. Did not wake up till 130PM, just in time to head back to Calcutta for four, then the Queen Anne. Clara, Lucy is Giselle from Sunset! Then Redd appeared. My god. She is everything she is cracked up to be and more. Changed into black businesswoman’s jacket and skirt with nothing underneath. I had a private dance with her and she rubbed very hard against me. She is awesome. It will be so long till I see her again. Got to work just before 10. Fairly awful night as can be expected with six pints inside me. 

Arleni, Maira, the unbelievably pretty Sol, Sam, Lena, Michelle, at the Flying Scotsman. And —- who I avoided. Stupidly I went into Sunset Cinema, paid £12, just looked upstairs and downstairs then left straightaway. I was too drunk. Big Naughty Titties is the only title I can remember. Pamela was busy so I sat with maid waiting, She smiled hello when she saw me, in red bra & knickers, & hair pulled back tight. As I said I felt like she would always reject me and it will never happen. “Don’t look sad” she said as I dressed, “I hate it when you look sad” At least I only spent £22 this time. All those gorgeous Berlin whores I could be fucking in Mon Cheri,Golden Gate and Monte Carlo. All those gorgeous Vienna whores. Clarisse in Brussels. 

It is six days till I can misbehave again next Wednesday. Just three hours to get through tonight. 

This day last year I was heading to Berlin for Eugene Onegin at the Deutsche Oper, and going to see the Katarina Wild Horses film in BEC afterwards, and getting so hard it would not go down even by the time I got back to leaf-strewn Ku’damm. How long till I do that again? The thing is I don’t regret spending £12 in cinema Wednesday, I just regret not forcing myself to stay. 

I would like to see Demi again in Peter Street. For that I have to go to cinema first. Just 8 days till —– at the Horse & Groom. New brunette girl in the Calcutta. Thank God a girl at last!

It is amazing how everything has come together (3rd November 2006)

It is amazing how everything has come together: Hogarth, Harlot’s Progress, Hogarthian Flying Scotsman, Pamela, —–, Zoe Tapper, Twenty Thousand Streets. The necklace I commented to —– on, my necklace that broke with Pamela. I never want to do anything but drink in the Calcutta, then go up to either the Hogarthian Flying Scotsman to drink some more and hopefully see —–, or to see Pamela in Lisle Street next to the Crooked Surgeon. 

I want to try to get to the Soanes Museum, The Departed, Cabaret.

The reason I am going crazy over Pamela is my madness over —– (2nd November 2006)

The reason I am going crazy over Pamela is my madness over —–. The two are connected inextricably, I will never get anything from either. 

Another five in the Calcutta. The Belle of the Calcutta came in at 530 with boyfriend, black boots, short black dress, white white legs, black lipstick, brown fur trimmed coat, what a sex bomb. Later I sat at round table so I could get a direct look as she sat facing him in box seat, beautiful breasts in that black silk dress. From there I do not remember but I must have walked up to Leicester Square up the side-turning directly towards the Crooked Surgeon and straight into Pamela’s door, Emma now. She was grinning as she opened the door £50 for twenty minutes talking! Let me suck her breasts and did not stop me even when her nipples got hard, and let me lick her pussy as well. 

Fantastic watching the Hogarth Harlot’s Progress programme when I got back with Zoe Tapper again as the prostitute Mary Collins. How poignant to see Hogarth falling so infatuatedly in love with his whore. 

A Harlot’s Progress 

“In 1731 the artist William Hogarth produced a graphic series of paintings which lifted the lid on 18th-century vice and established his enduring reputation as a remarkable social satirist and the greatest British artist of his day. With an all-star cast, A Harlot’s Progress depicts Hogarth’s exploration of sex trafficking and debauchery in Georgian London.”

I got to the Calcutta at 4 Wednesday and I knew it was ominous when I felt how easy the beer was going down (28th Sept 2006)

I got to the Calcutta at 4 Wednesday and I knew it was ominous when I felt how easy the beer was going down. It was one of those rare special days when the beer goes down so easy. Up to the Scotsman after two pints. Didn’t take me long to realise —– was not there as I did not hear her laughter. A new barmaid! Very sexy brunette. A good line up, Lucky, Vicky, Amanda, Helena, Tequila, Nicky, Crystal and Aussie Victoria. —— gave me a nice welcome back, "where you been?" "Where you been?" I said. "In Italy?" "That was fucking July! Where have you been going?" she said. "My mum’s house." She was pulling shocked faces. "My mind is boggling!" After she danced she came & stood in the dark centre corner with me talking. She has got a private party tonight, Tilly's. Next time I will ask her to put me on the list. I got there about ten to six I think, and —— finished at 7. The last two times she collected she leaned right against me until I put the money in. After she left a little brunette girl came in, and mentioned she was a better dancer than them and had better tits. I pulled her back and stopped her from leaving. And after that she was with me for 30? 40? minutes. Me with my hand on her tits and she with her hand down my pants around the base of my cock. Francesca, she is in love with Jasmine. We made a deal, she will help me with —– and I will help her with Jasmine. Helena was grinning at me as she collected. Because of all this, I completely lost count of my number of pints, but it was a lot. And this was even before I started watching the Levski Sofia v Chelsea game on TV! I think I left before half time, and fell asleep on the No.87 home and had to get one back. 

Straight away I am reminded how attractive this world is, and how much I love it.

I wake up midnight with an iron hard erection (30th August 2006)

I wake up midnight, with an iron hard erection. An incredible serendipity. I want European pornography again. The Munich Intercity films, the Munich Atlantic City and Sexyland kabins. The Vienna Dorint films. I was dreaming of K.M. a lot. I got the 12:10 bus to Calcutta after a lovely hamburger & fries, without any sleep. Sexy redhead at back in brown jacket & black glasses. Getting on at next stop beautiful black-haired Greek-looking girl, eyes met, little smile as she squeezed into corner. Pale blue jeans over meaty thighs & bum, pale blue coat, pale blue bandanna headband. White T-shirt. So pretty, got off Vauxhall. Coming into Calcutta just before I left, absolutely mindblowing thick light brown brunette, like Raquel Welch huge hair, red v-neck sweater over massive massive heavy breasts, grey skirt tight over her voluptuous hips & thighs, very self confident ordering her large white wine, sitting at round table behind me. What a sex bomb. I want Sunset again. Black dress Kay. All the money I have spent on strippers and drink this year, and such a small amount on pornographic cinema & whores. All these Bad Timing and Night Porter pictures form a triumphal way leading to the Ishtar Gate perhaps, of Maria’s cunt. It became clear to me after 1 pint, how drink suddenly makes me want to throw my money away. It is such a disinhibitor.

“The paradigm of the romantic bohemian” sitting at the table in the Cafe am Zoo reading about The Libertines and Pete Doherty in the Observer newspaper, “the outsider painter who pursued his own vision amid a swirl of drugs, alcohol and dissolution”. Oh I cannot wait to get back to Berlin again! If I can achieve this saving, it will be like shaking hands with myself. Sylvia still shines on my horizon higher and brighter and bigger than any other woman. She is a Charlotte Rampling of a woman. In Berlin alone there has been Iga, Diana, Riccarda, Yulia. “We learnt what our national Church was…a visible testimony of the collective experience of mystery, enshrined by generations in stone and glass. Imagine how we should feel if all the cathedrals were museums. What would be missing? Betjeman gives some hint of what the mysterious something was. It was a something in which, for all his doubts, he most passionately and sincerely believed”. The Arrest of Oscar Wilde in the Cadogan Hotel. “I think I’m excited by extremity. I don’t think of myself as sleazy–I like to think of myself as intrepid. Whether sex, food or going on holiday,whenever I’m confronted by a decision I always do the thing that’ll be the best anecdote.’ Pushing boundaries almost to the point of transgression is his stock in trade, and sex a major topic. ‘I’m just trying to bludgeon ennui,’ he says, ‘trying not to be bored'”.

Wouldn’t it be great to always behave myself in London and save it all for Berlin, Vienna, Brussels? Every £50 I spend in London is 74 euros I could use to buy a night in a European hotel. But I have such great memories in London. Sunset and Demi and Pamela. “The smoky Tanz bars of Berlin,where the German public tried to put aside growing concerns about world politics and lose themselves in a seething pit of immorality, decadence and extravagance”. The world has already entered a state of dangerous climate change. “No longer passionate enough about it to be disappointed”. How fantastic to have  my own place! Never take that for granted. Just yards from the bus stop to Charing Cross, next door to McDonald's, just opposite a mini supermarket & paper shop. It is not just saving money, it is stopping myself being drunk & hungover all the time. It is losing weight, too. It is not about writing about it on Bite or Virtual Tourist, it is just about the books.

OK so I fell off the wagon but it only cost me £30 (27th August 2006)

OK so I fell off the wagon, but it only cost me £30. I can make that up by not going to Calcutta at all this week, as punishment. And I learned an important lesson, that the Bell really is over for me now. Blonde in low cut white top who came in Calcutta for glass of wine just as I was leaving was highlight of the day. Rebels & Martyrs blonde American in skin tight beige trousers that cut her arse in half and grey vest. Now I’ve lost interest in Vienna, lost interest in everything. It was mighty fine to see Lucy again, though. Those thighs, that arse. She is sexy. And nice to see Florence again in see through all in one blue outfit, and coming in in her grey hooded top.***********This was in fact a very valuable £30 and not wasted at all, because it taught me a very valuable lesson, that the Scotsman really is over for me, and most definitely so is Florence. Lucy caught my eyes a couple of times while she was sitting at side, once when I was squinting to look at pink poster, I looked back to screen & saw that she was looking at me, and when she got changed to leave she also glanced to me. It was also valuable because it made me realise I do not even want to drink anymore. I will not go to Calcutta for my nightcaps anymore either, that will recoup the £30. So what will I do in these lovely dark autumn rainy, storm-tossed nights, if no Scotsman, no Sunset, no Calcutta? Stay in enjoying my hamburger & fries, writing by my lamp, reading, listening to my classical music tapes, watching my videos, all the time saving the money to get me back to Vienna and Berlin. I slept all day today, on the floor! What is happening to my life? I am going through a change. I do not know what I am changing into. It was good to see how much more expensive the Scotsman makes my life. It was a useful lesson. It was good to finally see the Rebels & Martyrs exhibition. I did get a slight erection. Lucy liked my rings as well. MY BUS STOP IS BACK! It is so lovely to be able to go from that stop again. Beautiful dream today, where I lived was like in a forest, all overgrown & overhung, up a little muddy path & steps, and I went down to the valley and looked towards the viaduct crossing the valley & framed by overhanging trees, and red sunset, and rushed back to my place under the trees to get my camera. I so much want to stop drinking. I am so tired of being tired all the time, too tired to read or write.

A lovely black windy trees lashing day always looking on the verge of rain (14th August 2006)

A lovely black windy trees lashing day, always looking on the verge of rain. I get back to my flat & put my lamp on & it starts to blend in with the twilight outside & my flat feels so warm & cosy, and I think of COURSE I cannot give the flat up. My little nest. I want to go a long long time without seeing Melani or Jolanda so when I see them again it will feel all brand new & a new life will feel like it's starting again.

Oh God how could I ever have considered giving up my lovely little flat? It is so lovely to come back to at night. All afternoon, and tonight, travelling to Charing Cross I felt so nervous. It was good, it felt exciting, like being in Vienna or Berlin or Brussels at night. Everything was pitch back, windy and rainy and storm-tossed. It felt like winter. It felt like how nervous I felt going out in Vienna at night to look for the peep show place, or how nervous I felt going to look for Stuttgarter Platz in Berlin the first time, or going into Atlantic City every time. I love that nervousness! That excitement! Sitting with my first pint in the Calcutta I still felt it. I felt I was sitting in the Brussels Pullman bar prior to heading up to Empire and Gare du Nord. Or sitting in the Dorint preparing to go out to Pour Platin or Manhattan. It was so exciting. By the second pint the excitement had been replaced by deadness, and I could not recapture the nervousness. By the third pint it had started to turn to the nihilism which can be as exciting as the nervousness but I did not push it to a fourth pint. I think three will be my rule for these Calcutta nightcaps. Oh God I cannot wait to get back to Vienna and the Dorint, and I cannot wait to get back to Munich and Atlantic City. But first I think must come Berlin for Violetta Urmana and the Mort de Cleopatra. That would be special. Any money I save let me use it on Alla & Olga and Erika first. On the 87 bus home someone started playing the Hot Club de France at full blast! It was fantastic. Riding along listening to Stephane Grapelli and Django Reinhardt. Every bus should sound like this at 11 o’clock at night.

Low rumble of thunder. To think I was thinking I could sit out on my balcony once summer comes, and now it is black & rainy & I am turning my heating back on, and it is only 13th August! John Dilys Cooper “turns everything into an epiphany”. I had an epiphany last night. Getting the bus to Charing Cross feeling so nervous, and arriving there in the pitch black, and it was so windy & stormy, and I sat in the Calcutta with my first pint feeling so strongly what it would be like at this same 930PM at night to be sitting in the bar of the Brussels Radisson SAS, or the Ibis Cafe Belge, or the Dorint Wien, or the Berlin Plaza, nervously drinking enough so I was ready to go out looking for Tallulah or Esmeralda. Tingle-Tangle. That feeling in the knot of your stomach. Those butterflies. That excitement, that nervousness. On the bus, around Parliament Square, I was thinking this was how nervous I felt when I went to get that tram in Wien, or how nervous I feel when I leave the Intercity at night to cross Bayerstrasse & round corner of Schiller, my heart suddenly starts beating so fast, my breathing comes so quick, my blood pumps around me so quick, as I am sure everybody knows what I am up to, but they cannot stop me, and I am going to do it anyway. A real epiphany last night, and again on Wednesday, when everything reminded me of Wien Westbahnhof. "We grow beautiful out of our longing." The greatest highs of my life have been those midnight trams in Vienna around the Gurtel to get to ML Revue, or those walks from the Intercity to Atlantic City, or those walks from the Berlin Plaza to the Berlin Erotic Centre or Sarah Young, or that midnight tram from the Gare du Midi up to the Gare du Nord and trying again to find the right exit. Lust suddenly suffuses my whole body. I become so nervous and so excited. In Europe you have dirty experiences. The ONLY time I get close to that in London is when I go to Sunset Cinema, and some man comes in with a girl, and that is so exciting, and then when I am ready, I leave there with my swollen cock rolling in my trousers from side to side like a ship in a storm, just around the corner to Demi or to Pamela. That always feels so dirty. Once September comes I will allow myself this again. As the nights get dark so early. Save my money for October, once the clocks go back! That is why I call November 1st Volcanic Night! I do not think I find Simon Boccanegra interesting enough as an opera to go all the way to  Hamburg to see Prokina in it. I’d rather spend all that money the train would cost on sex in Berlin. I would like to see Urmana in the Mort de Cleopatra though. What to do, Munich & Vienna first, or Brussels & Berlin? NOTHING THAT HAPPENS AT WORK CAN POSSIBLY AFFECT ME. I LIVE FOR WRITING AND FOR TRAVELLING. I AM LIKE A GHOST AT WORK. THUNDER! A dirty, black, thundery, raining evening.

This time next week we will be in August (25th July 2006)

This time next week we will be in August, then it will almost be over. It will be 1st August, Lost In Space Day. As I sat in corner at the Calcutta, a man & girl were talking at the corner of the bar, until he left, and she was left there on her own for just 2-3 more minutes, no drink, just hanging there, and I felt kept glancing up at screen & at me. Glanced at her once & she was waiting for it. Uneventful apart from that. Just 6 more hours to get through!!! I cannot wait till I can get back to the Calcutta, and then the Scotsman, then the cinema & maybe Demi. How I miss the old Carnival.

How many times I have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory (18th July 2006)

How many times I have snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. How many more times have I just looked away when victory was sitting there waiting for me, like with Carol at Sunset. —– & —– at the Scotsman. —–. They all presented themselves to me on a plate. Bus stop girl. “Oh you’re so sweet, do you know that!” pigtail barmaid at the Calcutta.They all just offered themselves to me, while I was minding my own business. Ursula at the Calcutta. When opportunity arises, I go cold, like with Melani, and Lilith. I send them all away.

This is Fu Manchu weather (5th July 2006)

This is Fu Manchu weather. Black, steamy, hot and humid, but raining all the time. A permanent mist of rain in the hot, steamy conditions. It is like being in Phnom Penh. This is Cambodia weather.

Two in the Calcutta with white shirt Katerina with no eye contact. Sylvie was first on in Sunset followed by Jolanda. Nina was next. She is so much like Melani, but Melani is Nina x100. Nina does not turn me on though she is so beautiful. Also there Angelina, and doing the middle shift, Sandra. A quiet small brunette but she was so sexy! She made eye contact with me a lot & really turned me on. I left about 5 because it is so empty on early shift I feel uncomfortable. At the Scotsman was ——. After dancing she marched straight to back & sat down with me again. I bought her another red bull. She was so sexy in little red tartan bra & knickers only. Drinking so much so quickly on empty stomach I was feeling randier than normal, and when she left to collect, & asked me to keep her drink safe for her, I stroked her bum and had a good feel of it. She looked at me in mock shock but she was so sexy on stage. While she was dancing however, a huge voluptuous red haired girl came in with two blokes to talk to Tina. They exchanged numbers & then she came & sat where —— had been sitting, so I could get a good side on look at her. Those tits are the most massive I have ever seen in my life. Her arse was practically hanging out of her jeans & that was massive as well. She glanced at me a few times. If she ever danced there I would die with pleasure. It would be the greatest striptease I have ever seen in my life. Knocking even fat bottomed silver dressed girl at Carnival into the shade. They were like zeppelins. Looking past her, —— suddenly seemed so ridiculously small. —— came back for her drink & found the girl there & was then in animated conversation with her & they exhanged numbers as well. After that —— came & had a drink with another man sitting at the side bar in front of me. After collecting —— sidled up to me again, whispering a drink, vodka & coke. After she finished I bought it for her & she came & collected in by the gents but just walked off with it & stood talking to other men with my drink in her hands! Vicki was quite friendly, not scowling at least. Stella smiled hello as she passed me by the gents, but I don’t think I stayed long enough to see her dance, or Kelly (E).

I went back to look for Francesca but she was busy, so I went back to Sunset for Lana & Nikita, the end of Elektra, and one more from Sandra before she left at 9. I watched most of the France v Portugal second half then went to Sunset Cinema. The films were great. Magma Swing Party, Nympho Nurses Naughty, and Titten Alarm 17—all German films!—plus Fresh Meat 18. I thought I was turned on enough so I went back to Francesca. She lived up to her description. Her breasts are sensational. She is pretty enough as well. For an extra £5 I got her to turn over but still could not come. She offered a hand job AND TOOK THE CONDOM OFF TO GIVE IT! It is true, she lets you come over her tits just like that. Still I could not come, so I apologised & kissed her goodbye. She works Tuesday to Saturday but only to 10PM. I will for sure go back many times.

I went back to the cinema again for more of the great films. Upstairs was bald man with pretty brunette girl from last week but they do not seem to do much. This time I was ready to explode, & though I wanted to carry on watching the films, I made my way to Demi, but another girl was there, Savannah. She was pretty but £30. I was tempted but she walked off angrily, so her attitude turned me off though her body was great. I went back to Pamela. It was so nice sucking her tits and the edge of her nipples at least. I could not stop sucking and love biting her. For £25 she turned over & I came very nicely again. I made her lay with me for just a couple of minutes, but could not stop laughing for some reason. She did not stay with me as I got dressed this time. I was too drunk to ask her anything. I came home after that. There was a sexy brown ponytail girl stood behind me at bus stop then she came & sat in the corner seat just beneath me, in little pink vest & I could not help keep looking down at her cleavage & her face, and she knew I was looking & I think liked it. She got off W Road just before me. Sitting in back seat opposite me our knees touching was most beautiful blonde in long skirt, jacket over little green top, with nice big tits & cleavage on show. I grabbed a few ogles & she was so beautiful. On the next corner seat was the purple blouse girl from before! In brown leather jacket, low cut shirt with tops of breasts visible, and tight brown skirt. Red lips. She was so sexy. Sitting side on ready to get off she knew I was looking at her so much.

All in all, a very sexy night. A night of a thousand breasts, and a dozen super-voluptuous vixens. Jolanda, red head at the Scotsman, Francesca, Pamela, girls at bus stop & on bus. Sandra.