Saturday 8 August 2020

I HAVE GOT TO KILL THIS STRIPPER ADDICTION NOW! (8th August 2006)

I HAVE GOT TO KILL THIS STRIPPER ADDICTION NOW!! So  maybe I could save 800 before end of August? Let’s say I aim to get my credit card bill down to 4900 by end of October, then I can go??? LET US LIVE LIKE A MONK ALL THROUGH AUGUST SEPTEMBER and OCTOBER. 



I will allow myself Calcutta only, and occasionally Cotton Club Cinema and Demi or Pamela.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic if on this Grand Tour I could get to see Tosca at Berlin Unter Den Linden, Maria Stuart at Berlin Unter Den Linden, The Makropulos Case in Copenhagen, and Elena Prokina in Boccanegra in Hamburg! What a holiday that would be! The thing about going on holiday to Europe is that you get really dirty sex and really dirty sexual encounters. For hell’s sake, I spent 426 on strippers in the last ten weeks and what did I get out of any of it?? Not one real dirty erotic memory. Demi was good, yes, Pamela, sucking Pamela’s breasts, yes, with Kay in cinema yes, with blonde in cinema yes. But strippers? No!!!! Convert that £426 into Euros and you get=630 Euros!!! That would have paid for four nights in Berlin Plaza, with 400 Euros left for Ciro, 150 with Erika, 50 with Maya, 150 with Alla, 50 on pornography!! I CAN make the flat and travelling work–BUT ONLY BY CHANGING MY BEHAVIOUR IN LONDON!!! Sexy things always happen when you travel. Remember the blonde bar girl Best Western Ku’damm? Meeting Nephania in Brussels? Nothing sexy happens in King’s Cross or the Cotton Club. Save ALL your money for travelling!

I now feel like Europe here I come. I haven’t quite felt the cold icy air of the mountains, but we are on our way now. I feel like some awful spell has been broken, and I have been released. Why could I have been so blind? We have gone past the Lost In Space boundary and are now heading towards the Event Horizon. “I think I only needed something to hold on to. It has never been about depravity. It’s always been about melody. But melody and I met in many depraved situations. Meeting melody is the victory of the empty spiralling nightmare.” “Get to grips with the idea that it is eating away at your money, your love and your life.” 

I must travel. It is my vital sustenance. CHECK OKTOBERFEST! I like sheer eroticism, not getting to know them. It is Karen Elson with Virgin Mary on her vest on Egon Schiele night. Pure Priapism. And whenever I am ready next year, I can move back into a flat again, maybe even back into W-- House! Let me make the most of these last 3 months in my flat. Use it for the solitude and the writing.




I think I need to go somewhere where I am going to get maximum bang for my buck. Vienna would be so expensive. It does not even start till 100 to 150 Euros. All I can do in Vienna is enjoy my Zipfers with the lovely-white shirted Dorint girls, then enjoy the films in ML Revue or somewhere similar, and then….? Go into Manhattan or Angelique or Pour Platin for a 150 Euro f–k with a stunningly beautiful girl like Maria admittedly, but there is no cheaper option, so all you have got is the films. In Munich similarly, what is there? After my gorgeous Lamm’s, what is there but Atlantic City, and maybe a 50 Euro private dance if there is someone spectacular like Patricia or Irina. Sexyland, forget about it. I mean really what would I do in Vienna? I would be so frustrated. After the pornographic movies I would come out to the clubs, & just find one girl after another trying to get 50 Euro cocktails out of me and a 100 Euro f–k. Same as last time. It would be so frustrating all the girls are out of my price range when in London I can have Pamela or Demi for just £20! I mean really what would I do in Munich? I would be so frustrated, getting so hyped up before going into Atlantic City, finding desultory bored unsexy Ukrainians & Romanians, come out still feeling so frustrated, looking for a whore, and just finding all those clubs in Schillerstraße, with their 150 Euro champagne massages!!!! Complete frustration and expensive frustration. At least in Vienna for 100 or 150 Euros you do at least get a f–k with a beautiful girl like Maria. In Munich it will just get you a fumble & a drink! And I do remember feeling as uncomfortable in Atlantic City the last time as I do in Sunset. It has been spoiled. God, do you not still remember how crushingly bored you were when you went to Munich in January!? As soon as you arrived you were thinking what have I done! Did I even get to Nuremberg that time? Pils Bar for a very expensive drink with a girl who will not touch you. Caribic was fun on that Saturday night but ultimately totally frustrating again. I had to get the 4AM train back to Munich without even having had a w–k. It’s all about squeezing maximum money out of you for drinks with the girls while giving you nothing in return.


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