No epiphanies tonight but my first huge temptation (23rd August 2006)

No epiphanies tonight, but my first huge temptation. After three I was wild enough to want to go back to the Bell, just for the mad hell of it–to see Florence again, to see Anya’s breasts again, in the black skies and pouring rain. I stood at the top of the tube steps debating it. Mass debating it. Thank God I passed my first test! It is all the money I waste on the girls I do not want. That is what kills me. Alia was in shock, no tuna!, wait I will make one for you! I tipped her £1.75. Nothing too much exciting in the Calcutta, though black ponytail on bus home to Vauxhall, blue jeans, black jacket, yellow vest over big breasts. I wanted to go to Bell, then cinema, then Pamela. The only thing that convinced me to not to was my hair! When I get my hair cut then it may be different. How much better it will be to go back to the Bell after three months rather than three weeks. Let me leave it three months until November!? Yea, right. I did feel a disgust for the Bell as I stood at the top of the steps. I am pleased to say. It is totally ironic, this is precisely the late August rainy black weather I would normally have chosen for my return to the Bell. This would have been a perfect night for it. I cannot keep this up for long.